ISOLATION

October 15-18, 2019


My body was going through hormonal changes I couldn’t control after I took a contraceptive pill. I gained weight, had new pimples all the time, I cried every night and had dark thoughts.I isolated myself to figure out what was happening to me. I thought I was brokenhearted, emotionally lost, with irrepressible feelings of never being enough. But I realized the pill were the reason for such strong feelings.

I am usually prone to mood swings, sometimes close to depression but I never considered suicide. Yet, it was the first time I wrote a suicide note. After I wrote it, for the first time, I used my camera as a therapeutic object and made this series.
In this refuge, where I grew up with my cousins, I took self portraits in the - yellow room - like a moment of past innocence.

I tried to understand my feelings, express them and own my body, more precisely the lower part of my anatomy. I am still a stranger to this part of me and my sexuality in general. During this isolation, I discovered the urge to work to comprehend my body, my reactions and my sexuality through photography, video and dance.
This series is leading to the HEALING project including a video and an experimental fanzine.